The not so unusual case of the Filipino Sandwich Generation.

Credit: Terrence Horan/MarketWatch

Sandwich Gen


Do you know the reason why is it hard to get ahead financially as a Filipino? I’ll tell you. Once we land a job and start earning money, and be in the position of “financial capability”, we tend to provide financial assistance to our parents, grandparents, own children, and sometimes siblings, their kids, and to some extent, relatives too. Call it altruistic Filipino tradition but it does have a term in the personal finance space - Sandwich Generation. This is not unique amongst us as this holds true to many people. If this resonates to you personally, think about a typical sandwich delicatessen; one bread on top, one at the bottom, and in the middle is the meat, cheese, fresh lettuce, tomato, and the savoury spread. You are the middle yumminess; your parents and grandparents, the bread on top; your kids, the bottom bread. I could devour a delicious sandwich but in this case, it is not very appetising.


How costly is it to be in this situation? Expensive enough to hardly save for your own retirement. In the end, you will become dependent from your children; then it becomes a generational financial pressure, and the cycle continues.



My Personal Story


My family is not an exception to this. In fact, I belong in the Sandwich Generation Club. What an honor. Here’s my story.


In 2010, I helped my parents build a new house, whilst the old one has always been home, it was uneconomical for us to renovate it. I didn’t have the capital to get that project started, however; so off to the bank to borrow money. Of course, the new house needed a few furniture so I ended up borrowing more. At 21, I was instantly 6-digit in debt. Yes, gainfully employed but in debt neck deep. I had to pay the owed sum for 3.5 years.


At 25, my mother sought for my assurance that I should help the youngest with his tuition fees when he starts University. And, if possible, I shouldn’t get married until he graduates. Of course, I said, “Yes.”  I was matured enough to understand that my parents were approaching retirement and the burden to pay for my brother’s fees wasn’t the best position to be in at an old age. I am paying for my brother’s tuition fee and allowance at present, he graduates in 2022. Two years to go! Dang!


Last year, my parents retired and I know for the fact that their retirement coverage from the Philippine government would not be enough to assist them when they get ill. I am preparing for that too.


My personal circumstances is not unique but never the worse. My parents NEVER milk me of money; they do the opposite. They push me to look after my finances and save for the rainy days. Equally praiseworthy is my younger brother - the most loving, understanding and clever lad that he is. On no account did he ask me for material things and has never expressed jealousy over the inflated lifestyle amongst his well-off peers. 


To the contrary, the stories of other Filipinos are shocking - some unavoidable, others self-inflicted. Paying for medical bills, sending children, siblings, nephews and nieces to private schools, monthly family food allowance, house renovations or building houses for siblings, and so on. I am in no way demonising this, bet helping an ill family member get the best hospital treatment is the right thing to do. But perhaps, a public school is as equally effective to get educated rather than sending your children to expensive schools. And if your parents are still working, why send monthly food allowance? I believe this is worth pondering upon because the opportunity cost of all these has humongous ramifications towards your future financial health.



The Quest


I’ve long accepted the difficult responsibility of ensuring our family tree will #SandwichGenxit. I and my brothers’ children shall be liberated from the costly Filipino “culture” that for years, has long been accepted as normal.  Here’s a few tips.

1. List down the reasons why you are sending money for. 
2. Categorise which of these are important and what are not. Decide in logic and reason, never on emotion.
3. Eliminate the not-important. Stop financing these. Just stop.
4. Get an exact monthly amount of your remittance based on 2 and 3. Add as expense on your monthly budget.
5. Send remittances quarterly or bi-yearly. You can save remittance fees if you do this.
6. Set-up an Emergency Fund for your old parents. Use only if they can’t cover their personal emergencies.
7. Never trust your hard earned money to anybody but YOU. An example to this is sending money to build your dream house only to find out that it was legally under your sibling’s name. Yes, this happened. It was heartbreaking to watch a kabayan literally smashed her house howling in frustration and anger as her sister refused to give it to her.
8. Say NO to a lot of things. This is tough love. Say NO to your parents asking for money because your brother or sister needs it especially if they have jobs.
9. Your biggest responsibility is YOU. What you decide for yourself will have an impact on future generations.
10. If not already, continue to educate yourself on personal finance then teach your family. In other words, teach them how to fish.
11. Be weird. Not everyone wants to deviate from the norm even though it is beyond reason.

End.
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